sometimes glass glitters

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zx. 20+. wants(1 gpa to stay abv 4.00 (2 big watsons dog/guitar lessons/tohoshinki cds/dvds/polaroid camera(on a whimsy)/new sandals/dresses!/skirts/tops/shorts... (3 summer holidays to come soon

more than diamonds

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goodbye


designer: eminence.
image: Sara Bareilles' Site
background: Photobucket quote: Terry Pratchett

Wednesday, August 24, 2005


Oh no, now I think I'm going to be kind of really sad. <- I am sad.

sad ( P ) Pronunciation Key (sd)
adj. sad·der, sad·dest
Affected or characterized by sorrow or unhappiness.
Expressive of sorrow or unhappiness.
Causing sorrow or gloom; depressing: a sad movie; sad news.
Deplorable; sorry: a sad state of affairs; a sad excuse.
Dark-hued; somber.

I found myself happily thrashing about in a whirlpool of reality today, and evidently, I can't swim. Regrettably, reading chi bi fu doesn't help change my point of view anyway. I'm not that noble nor above all the worldly/academic/material desires that I still crave. In Plato's allegory, I'm stuck in the cave and I don't want to get out of it. Essentially, I realised how much time I spend in school, doing school related things and just being academic. But the returns some time pale in comparison to what you've put in. This, being a very selfish blog about me, my life and other I-related stuff, I am now in the midst of complaining about my grades, and apparent sudden dissatisfaction with school life. Of course, I will still go to school and stuff, life goes on, as should this period of depression, so no one should be too worried, if you are that is, if not... Well, it just doesn't. Anyway, after talking to a few people within the span of the past few days, my life seems kind of pathetic and miniscule. People out there who know what they want strive and fight to get it. People like me who are aimless just mill around, hoping to get by life as best as we can, until we figure it out. Like how I'm milling around in school right now, getting average/less than average grades etc. Which essentially proves that I'm studying in the wrong way! But this also means that I don't know how to study properly. =( A bit worried with the promos coming and stuff. I don't think I will flunk it all horribly or stuff, or at least I hope not, and there will always be people who do worse than me (I think), but it's not good looking down all the time is it? That isn't the point. Why look down when you can always look up? People will definitely do better than me, which usually doesn't do much for my ego either. Haiz, actually this is quite a trivial entry about me being despondant about my grades (or lack there of) and the coming promos. Ignore me and I should be ok in due time. =)